Love Notes and the Danger Thereof
by Mackintosh-14
Summary: Mustang has discovered a letter of...confession? But who could it be from? Rated T for any sexual themes RoyXEd
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist, because otherwise, I wouldn't be writing fan fiction, would I? Also, this is about guy on guy love, okay? I'm not sure how you would accidentally stumble upon this, but just in case, you've been warned.**

Roy Mustang looked at his desk. The paperwork that had previously been scattered chaotically across his desk only minutes before had been assorted into a neat pile at the top right corner of the mahogany surface. Only one piece of paper was left behind. He picked up curiously, read it, and re-read it again. It...it was a love letter. Not that this was abnormal for the self-proclaimed ladies' man, but...the wording was so stiff and awkward. It started off with "Dear Colonel. I know you're very busy, and I myself have lots of work to do. I just thought it important to inform you of certain feelings I have recently discovered..."

What _was_ this? Who in the world—

Hawkeye knocked at his open door, alerting him to her presence.

"Excuse me, sir, I was wanting to know if you'd...What? What is it?" The woman looked at her superior in confusion. Mustang advanced on her and pulled the letter up to her face. He was exceedingly close.

"Hawkeye," began the colonel. "...Riza..."

Hawkeye, who was starting to look very uncomfortable, ran her eyes over the note. The confusion written across her features only deepened.

"What is that, sir? A love letter?"

Mustang was taken aback. "Then, Hawkeye, you didn't...?" His subordinate shook her head slowly and he took two steps back, trying to hide his disappointment.

Who was it then? Who had set the letter on his desk?

If Roy hadn't been so focused on the ground at that particular moment, he might have glimpsed the devastated look on a blonde-haired individual as he snuck past the door.

Half an hour later, Roy was still trying to clear his head. The letter...his disappointment when Hawkeye shook her head...and he still didn't know who had actually written the letter. He needed some air.

Going up to the Central HQ roof was something he practiced often. Occasionally when he wanted to have a beer or a laugh with Hawkeye, Havoc, Falman, and the others, but more often he would go up there to think, either late at night after he'd finished his paperwork, or on the occasional coffee-break, just to get some peace. He'd never stumbled upon anyone else there before though.

"Oh, Fullmetal..." Mustang said. The younger man turned around, looking more than startled. He got up hurriedly, as if to leave, but Roy shook his head.

"No, no, you don't have to go. Stay here, and talk with me." Edward looked a little torn between doing as Mustang suggested, and leaving anyways. Eventually though, he just shrugged and sat down again. He'd obviously been looking out over Central. The city truly looked beautiful in the evenings, and the summer sun was just setting in the horizon, casting a golden glow upon everything it touched.

Roy noticed that Edward had a six-pack of beers next to him.

"A bit young to be drinking, aren't you, Fullmetal?" The colonel teased half-heartedly, despite the fact that he knew full-well Edward had turned nineteen just last week, and was very well legal. Ed merely snorted disdainfully and handed Roy a bottle. Mustang grinned, then took it, and promptly swigged half the container. He'd previously had a shot or two, but Ed didn't need to know that.

"So what's up with you, Colonel?" Edward asked tiredly.

Mustang grunted. "I might ask you the same thing Ed, sulking up here like this." Ed said nothing, so he continued. "I...well, I had an interesting thing happen to me today. I got a, um, confession letter."

Ed chugged the last bit of his beer and took another from the case. "A love note, huh? And how is that odd for you, the famed Flame Alchemist, handsome, talented, and a total player?"

Roy frowned at the elder Elric. Why was he being so snarky?

"The thing is, I thought it had been from a woman I've had conflicting emotions over for many years now," Mustang told him.

"Hawkeye," Edward interrupted.

"Yes. How did you...? Ah, I guess it's more obvious than I thought," Mustang reflected. "But it wasn't her, you see. And now I'm going crazy trying to think of who it might have been."

Edward was silent for a very long time then, and Roy couldn't really tell in the dimming twilight, but the younger man's face looked slightly flushed. Drunk already? Perhaps he was a lightweight. He was pretty small, so...

"What about you then, Ed? You seem moody."

"Do I?" Ed asked. Mustang gave him a look before reaching around Edward's stomach to grab another beer. He couldn't help but notice, however, that the Fullmetal Alchemist flinched at the close, if brief, proximity.

"Am I making you uncomfortable, Fullmetal?"

"Yes."

Roy's eyes widened. His answer was so blunt. So frank. He moved to get up, but Ed pulled him back down by the front of his jacket. His golden eyes searched Mustang's as if searching for something that he just couldn't find.

"You _do_ make me feel uncomfortable, Roy Mustang. Especially when you drop the rare compliment, or flirt with all those women, including Riza. It makes me feel...Well...I...Actually, I have no idea how I feel. That's why I wrote you that letter."

He let go of Mustang's jacket, and Roy dropped down to the ground beside the younger man. To say that this new outcome was stunning would be an understatement. No, this was _shocking_, to say the least.

"I think," Ed began again, staring out at the city as he attempted to organize his thoughts. "I'm considering that maybe I have a hint of a father complex. You know, because Hohenheim left us when Al and I were so young. You were the only older-male figure I really had after..." He trailed off, his words seeming almost to choke him. But he didn't have to go any further with the explanation. Roy knew what he meant.

"After you attempted human transmutation," he stated. It wasn't a question, and Ed didn't answer. Instead, they looked on in silence as the sun went down. They drank the rest of the beer, but then they were talking more and more about frivolous subjects, and had absurd arguments. That's when Roy suggested going back down and polishing off the last of Mustang's vodka supply...

When Edward awoke, sun was filtering down through the window. Bits of debris caught in the air were highlighted by the morning light. That had always freaked Edward out. He was constantly wary of spots such as that because he was paranoid about sucking in the dust. He closed his eyes against the harsh light when his eyes protested in pain. Ugh. Had he been punched in the face the night before?

Besides a pounding headache, Ed felt... quite magnificent, really. There was something that had happened the day before, a vague flashback, that he felt he simply _had _to remember, but it just wouldn't come to him.

Then he remembered: He'd been out drinking and talking all night with Colonel Mustang. He remembered comforting the man over some shots over his silly emotions following what was basically a rejection from Hawkeye. And Ed had finally gotten off his chest that whole father complex thing. Because that must have been the explanation for all those weird feelings, right?

Right.

Edward turned around, putting his back to the window. Then he felt movement beside him, and an arm that was not his brushed his backside. Whoever it was stretched and groaned, and finding a more comfortable position, went back to breathing deeply. Whoever it was smelled of – oh God – aftershave.

"Edward," Whoever moaned in their sleep.

Edward Elric opened his eyes, to find the sleeping face of Colonel Mustang nuzzled into his shoulder. He also saw that Mustang was wrapped in _his_ sheets...and nothing else.

**Ooooh! What's gonna happen? Well actually, that's up to the reviews. If nobody likes the story, I won't continue it. If people want a sequel or two, then I'll be more than willing to acquiesce. Also, I'm willing to take suggestions, but please, nothing **_**too**_** dirty? I can only write so much without getting embarrassed. ^/^**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey there. I'm back with number two. I didn't really have anything else to do this weekend 'cause I'm sick (lucky you lol). Again, be warned that this is guy on guy, yada yada yada, and enjoy and review.**

**(Also, I know that this is a bad time to say it, but this is like, what might have happened if that whole Father/Homunculi thing had never happened. Ed is still a state alchemist and Roy is still trying to make his way up the ranks.)**

The look on Edward Elric's face at the moment could have very well been described as mortified. Or possibly scared shitless. If one could have looked into his mind, however, they would have found it blank with shock. Then the colonel moved again and his mind once more began reeling.

_Colonel Mustang...is in my bed. Oh dear God. He's naked. Does that mean...?_

Edward looked down at his own body, attempting this with as little movement as possible. Let's just say that Ed was rather lacking in the clothes department as well, and wasn't wholly pleased with this fact.

_Shit, shit, shit, shit shit. FUUUCCCCCKKKK. Fuckola. Crap. Ach! What do I_ do_?_

Facts. Facts... He'd been up all night drinking with a man he'd recently had strange feelings for, which he had put down towards familial affection. He had obviously gotten drunk, hence the blank patches in his memory. They had slept in the same bed. They were still in the same bed, without any clothing on. The man opposite him was Colonel Roy Mustang. Colonel Roy Mustang looked completely innocent...almost sweet. Cute, even.

Another fact: Edward had no idea how Roy was going to act when he awoke.

"Shit," Ed whispered.

Memories began stirring in Mustang's head. He dreamed of the night before; How Edward had been so honest, and listened to everything the colonel had to say; how they had been drinking, but Roy had known he would eventually have to drive, and had done his best to stay sober; how Roy had walked him home instead, because Edward had thought him to be as drunk as he was, and therefore in no state to be driving.

Roy also remembered how Ed had kissed him in the doorway. The alcohol burning in his stomach had made it seem like a good idea at the time. After all, they were both so lonely, with no one to really understand them. Maybe Roy had just been desperate. No one had loved him – really _loved _him – in such a long time. And Ed had been there, so real and affectionate. It just hadn't seemed important at the time that they were both men.

He shifted in the bed, slowly becoming aware of his surroundings. He was chilly, and leaned into the warmth beside him. The source of the warmth stiffened, and Roy drifted in between the room and his dreams. He smelled metal, and soap, and herb shampoo. It smelled good. Familar.

"Edward," He mumbled, though out loud or in his dreams, he could not tell. A minute or two went by, before he heard a voice whisper, "Shit."

Maybe it was time for him to wake up.

He opened his sleep-encrusted eyes slowly. Golden light caused the silhouette in front of him to blur. Then he blinked, once, twice, and then his eyelids shot open in surprise.

"F-Fullmetal."

Edward's face was frozen in a mixture of horror and shame. He seemed to be pleading with his eyes. His pretty golden eyes.

"Edward, I—" The Fullmetal Alchemist, instead of shouting and name-calling, was silent, and flinched at the colonel's voice. Roy reached out a hand, and Edward scrambled backwards at top speed, only for his back to slam up against the wall. He looked almost close to tears if his expression was anything to go on. Roy himself was at a complete loss as to what to do.

"I'm sorry." Edward finally spoke, though his voice trembled. "I don't know why...I can't even remember...I...I..." His voice broke, and he bit his lip. His eyes were welling with emotion, but he held the tears back.

Edward clambered off the bed, covering himself with a jacket he'd grabbed from the windowsill, and ran out of the room, and Roy didn't stop him. He continued to stare at the spot where Fullmetal had been, and he felt his heart wrench painfully.

Edward had run straight into the nearest washroom. It was _his_ house and he wouldn't leave. At least not until Mustang had left. Even then, he might just crawl onto the couch – because he could _not_ get back into his bed – until Monday at least.

The jacket he had grabbed to shield himself had turned out to be Roy's, and Ed ended up grabbing something out of a dirty laundry basket. He found pants, and socks, but amazingly no shirt, so he was forced to wear the too-large jacket to avoid being cold. He sat down hard on the bathroom floor, and noticed absently that he was shaking.

"Shit," he whispered again, biting back a sob. Then the tears came. He didn't weep or sob or groan. The tears just poured down his cheeks without consent.

An unbidden memory came back to Ed, not of a scene, per se, but the memory of a touch. Mustang's touch. To be precise, it was the memory of Mustang's cool hands running over Edward's too-hot body. Even that little hint of a memory was enough to give Ed a very strange, but not unwelcome warm feeling in the pit of his belly. The rational part of his mind denied this. There was too many emotions being thrown at him at once, and he didn't know how to deal with it.

At least Mustang had _some_ experience in this field before. He'd been with countless women, and even a girly man before, if the rumours were to be believed. But Ed had never gotten so drunk that he couldn't remember something. And he'd never slept with a _man_ before. Hell, he'd never slept with _anyone _before!

Ed raised his head slowly as that realization sank in. His first time...had been with...

"Oh, _shit_," he enunciated, before finally letting himself sob.

Roy found his clothes, all despite his jacket, which he suspected to be in the possession of Fullmetal now, and crept out of the room. The sooner he got out of the house, the better. Ed would not be pleased to find him sticking around, that much was certain.

But as he passed the bathroom, he heard it. The cold, scared sobs of a lonely boy.

_Aw, geez_, he thought. _I can't leave him like this._

The kid's words from the evening prior floated back to him. _"You were the only older-male figure I had after..."_

It would be cruel and heartless to leave him now, when he needed someone so much. Of course, he probably wouldn't want that someone to be the person causing his pain, but really, who else _was_ there? Al had gone to Resembool for the weekend, and would his little brother even understand anyways? With a groan, Mustang knocked on the door. Promptly, the crying stopped. There was a sniff, then:

"What do you want?"

"Open the door, Edward. I think we should talk."

"No thanks."

"Come on. You can't hide in there forever. You'd be surprised how patient I can be," Roy said coaxingly.

"Please, Roy, just go away. _Please._"

Roy again considered leaving. They could feasibly ignore each other for the rest of their lives, couldn't they? Despite this, Mustang felt somehow that Edward really did need some amount of comfort.

"Ed," He said firmly. "I am _not_ leaving. I won't leave until you speak to me. Open the door, I beg of you."

Silence. Sniff. Click. The door swung open.

Ed could feel his face turning red, and was fully aware of his running nose. So he sniffed and rubbed his eyes quickly before eventually opening the door. The only thing going through his head was; _That shit colonel better leave after he 'talks to me'._

Mustang's face came into view, and Ed was struck with an odd pain in his gut. The man took in his swollen eyes and red face, and made a guilty face, before throwing himself forward and hugging the younger man.

Ed froze again, then as he got used to it, relaxed and let himself be embraced. Roy had to shave, and the hairs on his chin tickled Ed's neck rather mercilessly, but he said nothing. Being hugged, even by Mustang, felt good.

After a moment, Roy drew back. He looked Ed in the face with a terrible look of regret and self-blame, said, "I'm so very, very sorry Ed. It was my fault. I should have been coherent enough to know it was a bad idea. I take full responsibility for the whole thing and...well, I'd understand if you never wanted to speak to me again."

Roy looked down at the floor as if he planned to study the tiles, and inhaled deeply.

"I let you down. I was the only man in your life you could trust and I..." He exhaled raggedly, and stood up. "I'm sorry to have troubled you further. I'll leave now."

He looked like he wanted to apologize a few more times, but he turned away instead, boots stepping heavily on the floorboards as he fled down the hall, leaving Edward in a chaotic, trembling mass of emotional wreck.

***sniff* Aww. It's too sad. Geez, I just want them to get together. Still, love isn't always straight-forward, is it? I guess it just takes a while sometimes for it to show itself. Don't worry though, it will definitely get better!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello again. I would like to point out that my story so far is a little weird. Have you noticed? The narrative is just whipping back and forth. This is weird because, well, I didn't write it that way. There were little stars and dashes in between narratives so you tell when they switch. I'll see if I can figure out how to fix that little problem (Not too good with ****this sort of thing lol**** :3)**

**Sorry, and again, please enjoy.**

-Roy-

Colonel Roy Mustang walked down the length of street outside the Fullmetal Alchemist's home, then back up again. And back down….up….and down again. He'd been doing exactly this for the past ten minutes. He couldn't help it though; he couldn't decide whether to leave the younger man well enough alone, or go back inside and comfort him. And he seemed to change his mind conveniently at every street corner and turn 180 degrees once more.

Guilt weighed heavily on Roy's mind. He was the older person in this situation: He should know what to _do_ for fuck's sake! And yet, he was totally helpless. He'd never been in a situation like this before, except, perhaps, that one time at the party. But in his defence, Roy had been _incredibly_ drunk, and the guy had looked _incredibly _feminine.

"Argh!" He cried loudly, and threw his arms up in the air. He was standing directly in front of Ed's house, determined to stare the door down. Thoughts drifted in and out of his head, but they were always interrupted by the returning memories from the night before. Edward's face, for instance, when he told Roy how much he'd looked up to him all these years…

The brisk morning air swirled around him, and cherry blossoms from the nearby trees caught in Roy's hair and clothing. Even though sunlight poured down like liquid gold, and flowers were blooming, Roy felt cold and dead. A physical ache had coiled low in his belly and wouldn't go away. He knew it wasn't just a stomach-ache though.

He would wait. That was all he could do really. Otherwise, he would go insane with worry, he wouldn't get anything down, Hawkeye and the others would worry…it just wasn't worth the trouble. So Roy Mustang sat down on the hard pavement outside of Edward Elric's home, and he waited.

-Edward-

Ed was, for lack of a better term, shell-shocked. The events of the day – and night – caused his brain to cease its usual storming, and his body went into automatic mode. He set about the house, mindlessly going through his normal morning routine. He threw in some laundry, tidied his study, and made some coffee. Steaming mug in hand, he went into his room to set his bed and dress properly. However, the moment he saw the thrice-accursed bed, he halted in his tracks.

There, poking out from beneath his bed, was the letter he'd left on Roy's desk the night before. He picked it up, sat on his mattress, and looked it over. All in all, there wasn't anything overly embarrassing or strange, he thought. The only oddity he could find was the underlined sentence towards the end.

"_These feelings of mine aren't really important I suppose, or at least, maybe not to you, but __they have been worrying me for a while__."_

Ed stared at the line, dumbfounded. What did it mean? Why would Roy have found that part significant? Maybe…maybe Roy…no. No, surely, it couldn't be… But what if…?

What if Roy had feelings about him too? Why else would they have done what they did if there hadn't been some amount of mutual attraction?

Ed stopped dead. Wait. So, did Ed have feelings for Roy? Feelings beyond that of respect and admiration? It was true, Ed had been worried about what he'd been feeling, but…love?

-Roy-

After an important event in anybody's life, there is always that point of inner turmoil and reflection. That point where the person keeps replaying the events in their head, trying to make sense of it, and come to a conclusion, or better yet, a solution.

This is exactly what a certain colonel was doing at this very moment. An unwelcome and disturbing thought had interfered with his concluding and reflecting though. Edward, though a man of the military, was still pretty young. And young guys, especially the ones who were quite honestly, married to their work, might not have done what other guys couldn't get their minds off of, i.e. _sex_. So it was entirely possible that Ed had been completely and wholly been, well, _new to the whole thing_.

And what if he was, thought the colonel before his thoughts could go haywire. So what if Ed had been a virgin? Even if he wasn't gay, at least it had been with a _good-looking_ guy, right –

"_You were the only older-male figure I had after…"_

"_These feelings…have been worrying me for a while."_

"_I'm sorry. I don't know why…I don't even remember…I…I…"_

Roy frowned. That darn kid…why did he have to be so fucking adorable? So what if he was a guy? When Roy so much as looked at those golden eyes, he just wanted to hold him. He wished he could make the other alchemist happy again, make all the pain he'd hidden away disappear. And if that meant having a relationship with a man, well then, he would have a relationship with a man.

Ah, but what if Fullmetal didn't _want _to do that? What if he simply wished it had never happened. What if Roy so much as proposing the idea of dating only caused more pain for him? Oh, but then, what if Roy just took off, and Edward still had feelings for him that were now made even more confusing? Either way, this whole situation was going to be difficult. Did Ed hate him? Like him?

Love him?

Well, there was only one way to find out, wasn't there?

-Edward-

The elder Elric brother, the famed Fullmetal Alchemist, was having boy troubles. And not just any boy troubles, either. These were more like man troubles. Colonel troubles, to be exact. See, Ed was now twice as shocked as before, because a bit of his memory had slipped back to him oh-so-helpfully right after he'd re-read his note.

The first thing he recalled was kissing Roy in the doorway. The older man was taller than him, sure, but not by much anymore. And he'd given in so easily, that Ed remembered all too well. The feeling of a man's – Roy Mustang's – lips pressed to his, his arms wrapped around Edward's shoulders and snaking up through his hair…it wasn't bad. It didn't repulse Edward. No, instead it scared him. He was terrified of these foreign feelings. He could go up against ten million Homunculi as long as he didn't have to face this, right now. But there weren't ten million Homunculi to choose from. It was just Roy.

Ah yes, the second thing. That was a continuation of the memory he'd encountered on the bathroom floor earlier, but with pictures. Pictures of Roy's flushed face, his teeth grazing Edward's neck. Images of Edward grabbing at the colonel's hair, running his hands down the length of the hot body against him. Again, this was not something that Ed didn't like. He thought about that one for a while, wondering if those things he'd done to Roy, and let be done to him, were something that he'd wanted for a long time, or just the lonely lust brought out by the affects of numerous alcoholic beverages.

But the feelings he felt now were real, untainted by liquor. He knew that if he'd had the chance, he would have done it all again.

The last memory was the one that was bothering Ed now. Or, not bothering him really, since he smiled sadly as he replayed it again and again through his head. It was the one that mattered the most.

After most of the passion had ebbed and died, Edward and Roy had lain in the bed together, Roy's arm hooked around the other's belly. Roy had mumbled something about "spooning", whatever that meant, and giggled. Giggled – the Flame colonel! Of course, the whole incident seemed to tickle Ed's funny bone at the time, and soon both of them were laughing and snuggling into each other for warmth. At that point, Ed had decided to voice his drunken opinion.

"I'm happy, you know," he'd whispered.

Roy went silent. 'Happy, you? What in the world could make you happy?"

"You?" Edward said it like it was a question. In many ways, it was. He was surprised to find that it was true, but being there, in another man's arms, he'd felt safe and loved, and happy.

Then, Roy kissed him. It wasn't kissing back, and it wasn't a lustful mashing of faces and tongues. It was deep and meaningful, and when he pulled back, Roy was smiling.

They mumbled some weird conversation about alchemical theory before one or the other, or both, drifted off.

Remembering this now, Ed fell back against his pillows. The spot where Roy had been sleeping only a few short hours ago, he reminded himself, but he didn't give a damn. The pillows smelled like fire, like when you blow out a match, and a spicy cologne that Ed couldn't put a name to. Roy smelled like the desert, Edward thought, but he didn't know what that meant. He dug his head into the pillow and breathed in the scent, and fell asleep before he could cry again.

"Ed!"

Ed's head snapped off the pillow so fast that he was in danger of getting whip lash. Standing in the door of the room was Mustang, and he was holding something. He thrust this object towards Edward's face.

It was a rose. A glittering, iridescent, _glass_ rose, with intricate little details like thorns and the veins of the leaves. These veins in the glass were silver. There were even dewdrops glistening on the fragile petals.

"I. I found. Some sand. It's. For you." Roy gasped. He was out of breath, and had obviously ran here from…a sandlot?

"I can't….._stand_….the idea of not even being friends with you, Fullmetal," Roy said. "So if our choice is to either be lovers or enemies, I pick lovers. Wait, no, that didn't come out right…"

Ed gaped at Roy, still holding out the glass flower and muttering what might have been the right words to himself.

"It sounded way better in my head," he finally continued. "But that actually sums it up well. Soo….what do you say?" He looked at Edward expectantly, and Ed had to wonder if this had been bothering Roy as much as it had been bothering him.

"That depends…" Edward said slowly, taking the glass rose carefully, shivering as his hand brushed Mustang's. "Are you asking me this out of pity, or do you genuinely care about meeh-!"

His sentence was cut short by Roy's mouth. This kiss was as close to the afore-mentioned kiss, and as far. Ed melted into the older man, their mouths locking and arms cradling one another, though Ed was careful not to break his gift. Roy bit Ed's lower lip slightly, and their teeth clicked together for a second. Roy spoke against Edward's mouth, whispering the words.

"I care about you, Edward Elric. I may even love you."

Those words…they made the renowned Fullmetal Alchemist go weak in the knees. But it was okay, because Roy would catch him if he fell. In fact, they _did _fall, both of them, or rather, Roy pushed Ed gently down onto the bed. He kissed Edward again, nipping and licking until he was down to the younger man's throat. Ed made a strangled noise and drew back.

"Look, I know this might sound silly, but last night was my first time. With _anyone_, and I, um, am not really sure how to do this?"

Roy grinned. "You could have fooled me, Edward," he said, but his face had softened. "How about this: last night didn't count. Your first time, can be with you sober, me sober, right here, and right _now_."

He didn't move. He was waiting for an answer, a signal. So Edward, taking a deep breath, nodded and pulled the Flame Alchemist back to him and they started where they had left off.

**Heeeey ^/^ Sorry about that. It's just that this chapter was already longer than the other two by far. By all means, if you want them to, er, 'get it on', just say so and I shall add a steamy-but-cute epilogue or something, but so far only two people have actually commented on the story.**

**I apologize for the long wait. I spent the past week and a half trying to get my overdue work done before spring break. Busy busy busy! Anyways, thank you for reading. I hope I don't disappoint!**


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